Why??

I should not have lost temper. But i did it again. But there was a reason for it.
I could not handle when she lied to me on something. It hurt me. I could not digest it. I lost my way. She could have easily told me the truth, i would have left without
complaining to anyone. But lie nfrom her, i can never digest. I am down and out
now. I dunno what to do. I am seriously hurt. I cant do anything even if i wanted to. Sitting here like a numb person. I know it was my expectations which hurt me and not her. It was not something else. I know i would be ignored no matter however she tries to convince me. I should have known that earlier as well. But heart is so soft mild that it believes things which it wants its way to be happening. Very seldom real mind has a role here. Everytime it is the heart who is ruling ot the brain which is causing my downfall. I really hate leaving her. Infact i can't even think of doing that now. But again the way i am getting hurt is no thelping me either. This is a very big dilemma. No wonder why people crack under this kind of pressure. I should have never met her. That's the biggest mistake i did in this. I don't know it was a coincidence but i was the one who initiated the conversation with her. She never asked me to do so. So its fair enough that i take all the pain. Even if she was lying i shudnt have been rude to her. She was sick yesterday. I didnt even take care of it. I think if i can ever take control of emotion regarding the fact that she will not be mine i can get over her. I will find a quote myself to over come that. This is the final time EVER i will be pissed off with her
no matter even if she does something which HURTS me. EVER EVER EVER i will not hurt her anymore. Never again, Ever. And when feel like you would be pissed off just remember these words,"IT IS HER HAPPINESS THAT'S IMPORTANT AND NOT MINE". She be happy with whatever she is doing would be the things that can happen. No more complaints , no more demands..!!!!i love you still.