The Dual Personality act!!!

I don't know how long this will go. This dual personality act. Acting as friend while loving her. This has been a very bad day. I didn't sleep for 24 hours now. I never slept at night. I was waiting for her to come back online till 4'o clock in the morning today. And i was not disappointed. She came finally. I was so happy. So very happy to talk to her again. Its like letters she spills out just hits my ears. I just can't put the joy in words. Something beyond extreme. But who knew i was in for a shock. she had another proposal. Well i didn't know how to react. I had made up my mind to make her happy to bring back her true love. But again my weak heart just showed up when she said that. I did not know what to say at first. I was short of words. I was stunned. But i quickly re-gathered myself. I did not want her to know i am stunned. I just quickly diverted the topic somehow. All i can say that, i am doing my role well in this story. It was always gonna end up like this. That fear would always haunt me. And it will come true one day. After she left, i just did not know what to do. I was in tears again. I was cursing god again for no reason instead of myself. That thought of she going away just stuck on my mind. No matter whatever i did to avoid it , it was haunting me. I could not sleep. My friend had booked tickets for a movie. The film was at 10 and i was in no mood to go. He kept calling me at 8 and finally came to my house. I had no other option to just go with him. But that just relieved me out. Even while watching the movie her thoughts were haunting my mind. The time when i am alone is the most difficult part. I just can't get over her. She is everywhere. God help me please!!!!